Artist/Author: rosesofred
Title: How The Mighty Have Fallen
Fandom: Star Trek Next Generation
Summary: Q must answer for his crimes against the Calamarain when he's stripped of his powers and turned into a human. Unfortunately for him, his archenemy Guinan knows just how to handle the problem.
Notes & Warnings: spanking
Captain Picard sat in his ready room in total disbelief. “You must be joking.”
The strong and confident bartender smiled smugly, remembering a few centuries back when she’d run into Q for the first time. “I’m serious. Haven’t you ever wondered why Q despises me so much?”
Picard raised his eyebrows, crossing his hands on his desk in thought. “I must admit the curiosity has always been there but I never would have guessed. You’re sure this will work?”
“No. But right now I don’t really see any other option. Wouldn’t you rather take the risk than let the Calamarain destroy us?”
The Captain looked out his narrow window at the entity surrounding his ship and sighed with resignation. “Guinan I have known you for years and I trust your opinion. If you say this is what they want...”
“I think it would be more humane than sending him out to face them alone.”
“Very well.” The tired captain tapped his communicator, voice low with exhaustion. “Picard to Commander Data, bring Q to my ready room immediately.”
“Acknowledged Captain, on route.”
Picard took a deep breath, bracing himself for the events he was about to set into motion. “I suppose if there was a test to confirm his powers were truly gone, this would be it.”
“I think you’re right.” Guinan took a seat on the white couch against the wall and smiled sadly at her old friend. This wouldn’t be easy for him but she knew he could carry out whatever actions necessary to save his ship. “The Calamarain are getting impatient, I can sense a lot of tension out there.”
“Then let’s not waste any time, I think we better-.”
“Unhand me you brute!” Q came barreling through the automatic doors being dragged along by Commander Data who held him with one hand around his bicep and the other under his armpit. “After all the nice things I said about you, this is how you treat me?”
Data looked at his captive with no expression. “While I acknowledged your kindness and shift in attitude towards me after saving your life, these events have no impact on my responsibility to follow orders.”
“Thank you Commander Data, I need you to stay and guard the door while we take care of the matter at hand.”
“Yes Captain.” Data released the petulant man and moved to stand near the entrance, hands crossed in front of himself at attention.
Picard’s eyes seemed to pierce into Q in a way that made him feel very self conscious and the man squirmed a bit under his gaze. “Get on with it, why did you have me dragged here?”
The Captain stood up, pushing his chair in place to sit just in front of the large window to the stars. “The Calamarain demand to see you face punishment for your actions. I am giving you two options, Q. Either you face your consequences with me here and now or you face your adversaries alone. I cannot allow them to interfere any longer, there are millions of lives at stake down there. I implore you to choose wisely.”
Q laughed haughtily, not believing how easy he’d gotten off. “The slap on the wrist, of course. Really mon capitaine, you’re too soft.”
“Very well. I have your consent to discipline you as I see fit?”
The arrogant trickster smiled like a fox that just stole an egg from the nest, his pride almost beaming from where he stood. Even as a mortal he could do whatever he wanted, these humans were so easy to manipulate and fool. “You have my consent. Do your worst.”
In two quick strides the Captain had him firmly in hand, leading him back over to the tall white chair near the window. If he’d had any time at all to react he would have fought but as he’d been so rudely blindsided, Q found himself face down over his favorite human's lap faster than he could blink. A sharp pain exploded across the back of his thigh and the trickster gasped in shock at the impact, a squeak of indignation escaping on the second hit.
“Picard!” He pushed himself up but the arm wrapped around his midsection stayed his attempt and he yelped again. “This is outrageous!” Two more smacks landed on his backside and Q struggled to free himself. “Let me up! Stop this right now!”
The Captain didn’t stop, his hand striking rhythmically as he spoke. “You will answer for the atrocities you’ve committed towards those people. Look out the window, Q. Would you rather they be your judge?”
The fallen god grit his teeth as the pain built up, muscles twitching and jolting every time a new slap landed. He wouldn’t comply with this, how beneath him to be treated in such a way! “No! I won’t accept this kind of- ah!- this kind of treatment!”
“No?” Picard aimed his hand at the spots where the man’s thighs met his backside and held on tighter as he thrashed. “Q stop this at once! You have chosen this path and no amount of fighting will change the outcome.”
The indignant man huffed and lowered his head, trying desperately to think of a way out of his consequences. Guinan’s voice cut through the sound of his discipline, though it was just as sharp. “Captain, I don’t think this is working. The feeling I’m getting from the entity is very aggressive.”
Q’s head snapped up and he looked across the room towards Guinan, his face going red with anger and embarrassment. “You! This is your fault!” A particularly hard smack landed on the center of his backside and the fallen god yelped.
“This is no one’s fault but your own, Q. Believe it or not we are giving you mercy, the Calamarain would not be so kind.”
“I don’t want your mercy, you can’t trust her! She’s- ow!- She’s evil, she’s an imp of chaos!” The hand kept landing without pause, never missing its target and the god kicked his legs angrily. “Why aren’t you listening to me?”
“What do you recommend, Guinan?”
The El-Aurian thought for a moment, tapping into her senses to try and decipher the entity’s intentions. “They’re not satisfied. I think they want to see true contrition.”
“I am contrite!” Q tried to pull himself forward out of the way but his favourite captain was far stronger than he’d expected.
“Captain, if I could make a recommendation?” The indignant man was starting to hate the android now, imagining how satisfying it would be to put him on an asteroid and watch him fly endlessly through space.
Picard stopped for a moment, looking to his lieutenant commander. “Yes Data, what is it?”
“If you increase both your speed and power by 15 percent and apply these new parameters to bare skin instead of cloth, I estimate a 60 percent higher chance of success.”
“I see. And just what does a 15 percent change look like?”
Data tilted his head at the question. “If you would allow me Captain I could demonstrate how to effectively punish Q in a way that would result in a likely breakdown of ego and pride. That is the desired result is it not?”
Picard tensed his jaw in thought, knowing he had precious little time to appease the Calamarain and save the Bre’el. If his commander knew of a way to accomplish this in some way he couldn’t, he had to trust his judgement. Making up his mind, the Captain nodded in agreement and loosened his grip. “Make it so.”
“Yes Captain.” Moving from his position guarding the doors, Data walked towards them with purpose and Q panicked at the sight.
“No! Absolutely not, I won’t let you!” He scrambled off the captain’s lap, landing on his backside and wincing in pain.
“I think it is in your best interest to comply with the Captain’s decision. Defiance will not help you.” With one unbelievably strong android arm, Data picked the man up easily to stand on his feet. He held on to the man by the scruff of his jumpsuit, waiting while the captain vacated the seat and stood to the side to watch. Q tried to yank himself free but the grasp was too strong and he kicked the android in anger. “It is my understanding that throwing a tantrum serves no further purpose than to display your unwillingness to comply. If this is true then I believe this will be both a long and painful process for you.” Data sat down in the same chair, pulling the man down to land across his lap. He wasted no time in pulling the god’s clothes down to expose his skin, ignoring the struggling and fighting to get free.
“Stop it! Please, I- I don’t- ah!” The android’s hand was so much harder than Picard’s, there was no warmth or hesitation. Just pure intention, action without failure to carry out the task. Q wriggled and kicked, gasping with horror at how much more it hurt without the protection of his clothes. Is this why humans dressed up, to protect themselves from such harsh pain? “Stop!” He beat his fist against the android’s leg, determined not to learn his lesson.
“Your outburst is a sign of defiance. I will increase power by 10 percent to compensate.”
Q wailed in agony as the smacks turned to a burning fire, each hit right after the last in one long unending volley of strikes. “Please, please!” He kicked and thrashed under the hold, bucking his body to get away. No matter what he did the android wouldn’t falter. An unstoppable force had finally met an immovable object and the fallen god didn’t know how to handle it. To his horror he began to feel tears prick at his eyes and he scrunched his face up to stop them from falling.
“The tension in your shoulders indicates your readiness to cry. Doing so would benefit you.”
“I’m not crying!” Q screamed in anger. He looked down at the floor to see his hand wrapped around the android’s ankle and let go in disgust of himself. Why had he done that, what was he seeking? He didn’t need support, what he needed was to get out of this so he could get his powers back and smite them all.
Picard's voice was more gentle now as he spoke. "You’re only making this harder on yourself Q. We are doing this for your own good, can’t you see that? The Calamarain will destroy you if we send you out, this pain is only temporary.”
The nearly crying man looked over his shoulder at Picard, breath hitching in his throat at the sight. His captain stood tall with arms crossed, peering down at him with such authority that there was no doubt as to his rank. If Q had been under his command he might have been truly terrified of disappointing him but he wasn’t and this had to end. “It’s inhumane! I’ll- I’ll smite you all for this when I get- oww!- get my powers back.”
“You may decide to do as you wish, Q. I have no control over how you react if you receive your powers again. But I do have control over what happens to my ship and you are my responsibility while aboard. So if you want our protection, you will submit to our authority.”
Guinan watched as the formerly mighty creature trembled over the android’s lap, his mannerisms more like a frightened animal than a once powerful god. The man turned his head away from the captain, staring out the window at the entity around the ship. It was a truly terrifying sight to see such powerful beings waiting and watching, the possibility of destruction looming in the balance. “I won’t!” Q bucked his hips in protest, throwing a fit again in response to his lack of power. Guinan’s words played back in his mind and it made him boil with rage. 'It must be terribly frightening for you to be totally defenseless after all those centuries of being omnipotent.'
It was, it was terribly frightening and there seemed to be absolutely nothing he could do about it besides thrash. The ex-god felt tears swelling and his throat became tight with an impending sob. All at once he couldn’t take it anymore and he threw his hands back to block the smacks, closing his eyes to fight the tears. Data paused for only a moment, gathering the man’s wrists in one strong hand and pinning them to the small of his back before continuing. “I estimate you are very close to exceeding a limit of tolerance. I will increase my power by 5 percent to encourage you.”
“NO!” The android’s hand landed so sharply that it took his breath away and the tears spilled over. He couldn’t fight it anymore, a sob escaped and soon he was shattered, no resistance left in his tired human body. “Please, please stop!” His shoulders shook as a raspy cry wracked through his body, his frame limp over Data’s knees. “I’m sorry!”
“I do not believe I am the person you should apologise to. I would advise apologising directly to the beings for which you have wronged.”
Q looked out the window, his face going red at the knowledge that the Calamarain had witnessed him in such a state. He was so powerful before, so terrifying and now he was nothing more than a weak little human being spanked over an android’s knee. Even worse, his favourite captain and arch enemy saw his pathetic state as well. Swallowing his pride as tears ran down his cheeks, Q cried out “I’m sorry! I’m so- ah! I’m so sorry for tormenting you.”
Picard looked towards Guinan for an answer, hoping their actions had been enough to appease the entity. “Almost. They’re more content but I don’t think they believe him.”
“I do! I do mean it, please!” When nothing happened Q twisted his body again, bending his knees like he was trying to cower. “Stop hitting me! Ow! This is torture, you’re- ah! You’re torturing me!”
“This method may be archaic but I assure you this is not torture, Q. You are being disciplined, this is a consequence that you must face for your actions.” Picard was resolute in his decision, more sure than he was before it started that it had been the right decision.
“I’m sorry!” The miserable man cried over his friend’s lap, hoping deep inside that his actions hadn’t ruined the near-friendship he had with Picard and Data. He’d hit and kicked him, acted like an absolute fool and now he was on display as a pathetic crying mess for his enemies to see. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry please! I won’t do it again, please just stop! It hurts so much!”
Both the captain and commander looked at Guinan, hoping they had reached a point of quitting. Even as deserved as it felt, hearing the grown man sob like a small boy with such pain was difficult to bear. The El-Aurian looked confused, trying but failing to get a response from the entity. “There’s something blocking my connection.”
“Oh how the mighty have fallen.” A tall blonde man appeared in the middle of the room, a giant smile on his proud face. Data stopped immediately though he didn’t release Q, waiting to see his captain’s reaction to the stranger. “Look at you Q, what a delightful position you’ve gotten yourself into.”
The former god looked at him hopefully, sniveling as tears and snot ran down his warm face. “Q! You’ve come to- to rescue me.”
“On the contrary, I’m the one who got you kicked out of the continuum. I just wanted to watch in person.”
Q struggled to get off of Data’s lap, anger replacing his recent feelings of remorse. “You bastard!” Data’s hand flashed down quickly, the sharp swat taking him off guard.
“I would not attempt an escape until your release has been permitted.” Data paid no mind to the seething man across his knees, instead watching the interactions play out before him.
“Ha! They smack you like the child you are, Q.” The blond man smiled to himself, fully enjoying the scene.
“I am not! You’re the child, you- you child!”
The blonde Q laughed at him, taking a few steps while he spoke. “You’re not very clever when you’re like this are you?”
“Excuse me.” Picard tried to get the other Q’s attention, very aware of the catastrophes happening around him outside. “You may be unaware but the being out there is very close to destroying my ship.”
The blonde god studied him for a moment, coming to a decision quickly. “You must be Captain Picard, I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Is that so?”
“Oh yes, Q talks about his favourite 'capitaine' practically nonstop, it’s very annoying.” He turned his attention towards the more contrite Q, narrowing his eyes. “I was going to just leave you here.”
“But I’ve learned my lesson!” He struggled to get free again and Data’s hand landed in warning. “Ah!”
The other Q smirked, folding his arms in his own self-superiority. “But I did enjoy seeing you reprimanded so thoroughly. And you did pay for your crimes…”
“Yes! I did, please take me back.”
“Alright, you can have your powers back, but only on these conditions.”
“Anything!”
“I like these people, I’ve never seen any beings capable of putting you in your place. You are not allowed to kill or torment them in any way. And from now on we’re sending you here for punishment when you screw up. No more running amok across the universe and torturing helpless civilizations.” The proud Q snapped his fingers and the Calamarain teleported to his open palm as the size of a small toy. “Forget what you saw here.” He blew on his hand and the being disappeared, hopefully back to their own home across the galaxy.
“Fine, I accept. Please just let me come back!”
The blonde god sighed, taking in the image of such a once powerful and arrogant entity now brought down so low. “Alright.” He snapped his fingers and a flash spread through the room, both men disappearing together.
Picard cleared his throat, looking at his commander and bartender with disbelief. What a strange way to conclude their evening. Another flash filled the room and Q came stumbling back in, a look of humility on his face as he stared at anything besides their eyes. “I have to say I’m sorry for causing trouble. The moon is back in its orbit and I won’t torment you anymore.” He wished he could turn them all into sea anemone but he knew the other Q was watching, just waiting for him to screw up. “Please forgive me.”
All three of them looked at eachother, then back at Q with shock at the genuine apology. Maybe he really was contrite, it was hard to tell with the other Q threatening to send him back for more if he wasn’t sincere. “You are forgiven.”
The restored god looked up at Picard, his eyes still red-rimmed since the blonde Q wouldn’t let him heal himself. “Thank you.” He disappeared and the Captain let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.
“He’ll be back, I can already sense it,” Guinan grumbled.
Picard almost laughed at the implication, relaxing now that the chaos had passed. “Well I suppose if he does we know how to handle him now.”